So....

Haven't really blogged in a while but I think I will actually keep this one going for my mind's sake. As the title states, this blog is owned by a walking oxymoron...if you don't know what that is, look it up in the dictionary. Onto today's post-

Lately I've been going through a lot of things- quitting work, getting a gf, sort of losing a gf (probably did lose her), doing uni exams, my mate getting married, going to Melbourne and a lot more. At the moment the thing on my mind is the girl. I don't know what's going on between us and it makes me scared. You see I'm a person who despises being vulnerable (like many other people) but the way i deal with this is by being cold. Yes i can be a very calculative bastard and that's no exaggeration. It's gotten to a point where i can't let people in anymore. Only a handful really know me, only a few have ever seen me spill my heart, mind and soul. It's good and its bad....

I'm trying to change and I'm finding it so hard after being this way for so long. Every time something gets a bit emotional or irrational, i harden up, discard sentimentality and move on. This has got to be one of the hardest things I have tried to change about myself.

Well thats all my rant for today.
Adieu for tonight.