Requiem for a dream

Almost another year has passed since I last posted on this blog so I thought it may be a good time for some reflection. I don't know about other people but I've often played out this weird scenario in my head in which I'd be the spectator of a conversation between the 'me' of today and the 'me' from the past- for this post's sake, let's say the 'me' from a year ago.

Now I'm 99% certain that I'm not the only person who thinks of these things but I wonder how many people would choose to be a mere spectator as opposed to actually being part of the conversation. I just think this is an interesting fact, mainly because as a person watching these two other ...'you's' talking, you'd assume you would know exactly what questions they'd ask and what answers would be given- but what if an answer surprised you? What if there was a question asked that you never thought of asking yourself? I know it sounds stupid but for argument's sake lets suppose it happens. How would you react? Would you question how well you knew yourself? Maybe you'd ignore it? Or maybe it would impact you significantly? Sometimes (excuse the cliche) I think I don't really know myself, not in the sense that I'm confused about 'me' as a person but maybe I've misinterpreted what my goals or needs are. For example, lets say you feel like you really need to be at some event because there are people there you want to socialise with- you want to be part of the 'in' crowd and maybe make some connections. BUT maybe what you really want is to be accepted by people but in this case you're probably asking the wrong people to like you, people who don't really care about who you are (please don't misinterpret that I'm seeking attention, this was JUST an example)

Maybe I'm over-thinking these kind of scenarios but I can't help but think what I'm missing out on if I misinterpreted myself (is such a thing even possible?!). Regardless though, when I look back at the year that's gone by, I can confidently say that I do so without regret. Even if I judge it with 20-20 hindsight, I can see that I've moved forward towards 'something' and I take comfort in that. I've got a lot to learn and I hope I meet more people whom I can learn from because as I once memorised for a year 12 essay: "The inner journey is the synthesis of life's experiences'".

Adios amigos.